I'm staring into my notes (yup, I actually pulled out an old-school notebook and was taking notes) and I'm thinking really hard what to write down. I know it's best to start with something nice so that the rest will be easier to bear. But there's nothing I can do about it.
It is so B-class horror you won't believe it. There are heads exploding, people making out while stakes are lodged in their ribcages, step son and step mother banging one another for hours on the kitchen table, heads are being ripped off... Really, I was magically brought to the 80's. And maybe then it would stand a chance or maybe if I were a kid I would find it amusing (perhaps not because the sex scenes would make no sense to me) but now all I can do is cringe.
First of all, the characters are terrible. Their psychological portraits are just not right. There are many crazy and odd people in there but freaks just don't act like that. It was way too obvious and everything so melodramatic. The main pair in this piece of crappy literature was very disproportional and made no sense. Their "oh, I love you to the Moon and back forever" just seemed fake and I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was reading two books which the author somehow accidentally mixed together and what was in front of me was a very unnatural creation.
GENRE: horror from the times past
FANGS OUT: keep them in your mouths, this was grossFANGS RETRACTING: yeah, they are going into your skulls
TOTAL SCORE:
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