Sharon Page: Blood Deep

Wow, winter holidays are almost over and my initial thought of writing some extra articles (as I thought I would have more time) vanished and I am happy to write at least one. I suck, I know but worse things happen...

I remember back in the day discovering Black Dagger Brotherhood series by Ward and thinking: “Omg, the sex scenes! There are so many, I’m reading porn!” and later I started grabbing all those books marked as “romance” which became since that time on my code for porn. Little did I know that those were really just romances with something hot to spice them up a little because when I got to this book, I finally understood the difference between romance and erotica or what they call it.

I mean, in romance books, the author always waits till at least page 100 to get the people intimate. Before that page, they get to know each other (within a week or so) and then they make love, realize they are soul mates, and eventually they get married and get down to the reproduction road (that usually takes them another week). In erotica, however, people get down to business the moment they meet. Or in this case, they are “plagued” by sensual dreams so that when they finally meet it’s like they already know each other.

The story (there really is plot) takes place in the 19^th century and basically reveals some more troubles poor vampires have when there are two of them and they want the same woman. Result? Why not share... The whole series (I think) is about a woman getting both the yummy guys she wants, so if you find this idea just too preposterous, don’t read it. There is a longer storyline about vampires/slayers and how the monsters are kinda OK while the slayer society has some rotten pieces inside but that is really superficial because the main focus is on the woman saving the two guys she wants to have fun with.

So, this is what the porn for women looks like. It’s not visual because we are creatures focusing on our emotions prior to the visuals. It’s hot, it’s entertaining, and they are gonna get married and have kids, because nothing screams marital stability like ménage a trois put together in record time. 

GENRE: DP PORN

FANGS OUT: it's nice if your are into this kind of thing

FANGS RETRACTING: I want more action and complicated plot because there simply isn't enough about the hunter society

TOTAL SCORE:

Beer bread

I’m sure you know that Czech people consume most beer per capita. It’s nearly 150 liters a year for one person. That is 300 hundred bottles. 

I’m not sure who drinks mine because I consume about three bottles a year. And by consume I really mean eat. I don’t drink it. Beer is quite popular ingredient in many a dishes, so here is the most simple one. 

As one Czech saying goes: “Beer is the nation’s bread.” So, let’s turn our proverbial bread into actual bread. And let’s add a potato to make it soft longer.

You are going to need (for a small loaf):

• 250ml pale lager
• 500g flour (just because it’s Christmas and we are supposed to sin the most, I used plain flour, not whole grain I usually use)
• 1 potato
• 20g yeast (the one from the cube)
• 1 table spoon salt
• optional: typical Czech bread spice is cumin, I hate it so I don’t use it but you can if you really want to get it right add one table spoon

1)      Boil the potato, let it cool down, peel it, and grate it. 
2)   Mix all the ingredients together and knead till it forms dough (that is gonna take some effort, trust me) which doesn’t stick to your fingers or which doesn’t fall apart. 
3)    Let it sit somewhere in the dark warm spot so that the yeast can do it’s job for about an hour or two. 
4)    Preheat your oven to 210°C and put your bread pan or tray into it. When the oven is the right temperature, put your dough into the hot pan or whatever you use to make bread in. Cover it with aluminum foil and bake for 30 minutes.  
5)    After 30 minutes, lower the temperature to 170°C and bake without the cover for another 30 minutes. 
6)    Take it out, let it cool down on a baking rack (don’t let it in the pan, the bread has to “breathe” – the air must come to it from all sides).

 

Sheridan Lefanu: Carmilla

I almost forgot Carmilla! How could I?! I was going through my thesis books to make sure I mentioned them all and I realized I missed one when talking about the old classics. So, here you have it.

You can’t help but marvel at the scenery. Gothic lovers will be transfixed by the castle and the old allure of the genre which shows in every detail. The visuals are awesome (I mean, it’s a book and the font is normal but the visuals you get in your head... or is it just my head?).

Many people read this because it’s said to be a lesbian story, but I’m not sure. A young lady is brought up by her father and some servants secluded from basically all people (the castle, remember?!) and when a girl her age comes to be with her, naturally she develops some kind of bond. But not that kind of bond. Sure, Carmilla exhibits some tendencies to prefer women but maybe that’s only to obtain blood from her naive lady friends. A 19^th Century girl is less suspicious when around other girls, right? Preying on men would attract too much attention, so let’s not talk about this and move to more important stuff like... ehm... folklore!

The author mentioned some really believable old-school knowledge about vampires which was laughed at by the infamous creature- that was nice. When I think about it, there was a lot of vampire info despite the novel being so short.

I’d say that this book gives you a really good insight on how the female vampire looked back in the day. It reads fast so if you don’t like older books for their language or tendency to prolong everything without any climax, you won’t find this one that obsolete or terrible to read.

GENRE: Gothic

FANGS OUT: you want to see the places

FANGS RETRACTING: could be more elaborated on in the horror scenes

TOTAL SCORE:

Coconut Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

There is never enough of cookies with chocolate. And if they are healthier and with a little hint of different flavor to them (coconut) than the regular ones, you don't have to even hesitate and just bite into them as fast as possible because these will be gone in no time.

You will need (for about 30 cookies):

• 2 small cups of whole grain rye flour 
• 2 small cups of oats
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder
• 1 small cup of melted coconut oil (virgin, of course - that's the only way how to preserve the coconut smell and taste we want)
• 1/2 small cup brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 small cups of chocolate chunks (70% is my game)
• optional: if you really think the coconut oil isn't enough you can add 1/2 cup of shredded coconut to ensure the taste will be coconut-y, but trust me, if you have good oil, it will be enough

1) Mix it all together till you have a sticky batter.

2) Then try to make small balls and put them on a baking sheet. They will melt to the sides so make sure there is enough space around them.

2) Bake for about 10 minutes at 180°C.

Stephen King: 'Salem's Lot

Imagine the story of Dracula being retold on the US ground. That’s basically it. Except the vampire here starts building his army of followers by simple maths. He creates one, the one he created creates another one and so on till you have a town full of bloodthirsty citizens and a couple of survivors.

But this is a Stephen King story and it means it’s full of thrilling moments, suspension and passages which make your blood run cold. It seems as thick and dense as the original King derived from and even though you can’t help but always try to compare it with the original, you can find its own pace and storyline which makes it a lot different.

I could tell you that there are no diary entries or letters here, that there are still men trying to protect their women, that the villain still goes after the hero’s beloved but this time he is not focused solely on her. I could point out all the themes which stayed in vampire literature and the new ones which appeared here for the first time. I could also tell you that there are more characters to spice things up and set the pace here but then you would know too much and wouldn’t perhaps feel like reading it for yourself. And that would be a shame.

GENRE: horror

FANGS OUT: modern approach to the old theme

FANGS RETRACTING: Dracula’s influence perhaps too much for someone

TOTAL SCORE:

Quinoa and red lentil cheese balls

I am tired of always eating salads or veggie/fruit smoothies for supper. Every once in a while I need something different to bite into without the guilt of consuming something not healthy enough. These days it’s all about quinoa and other “superfoods”. So, the stuff I did with quinoa (apart form using it as a regular side dish) is finally here.

You are going to need:

• ½ cup red lentil

• ½ cup quinoa

• cheese (I used mozzarella and Balkan)

• 1-2 tablespoon tomato puree

• dry basil, garlic, thyme and rosemary

• plus your regular salad stuff, that is optional (tomatoes, peppers, oil, balsamico etc.)

1) Boil quinoa and red lentil – you can do them together because they get ready at the same time so you will save yourself some dishes.

2) Meanwhile, you can prepare your cheese- cut it into small squares or any shapes you want, it just must be small.

3) Once the quinoa/lentil mix has cooled down a bit, you can add a tablespoon of tomato puree and the herbs. This is up to you; everyone likes it a bit different, so add as much as you want. Since I used balkan cheese, I avoided salt but if you are one of those salt eaters, add it there as well.

4) Take a big spoonful of the mix, roll it into a ball and then press one piece of the cheese inside. Roll it in your hands again so that the cheese isn’t sticking out anywhere.

5) Put all your balls onto a baking tray and bake them at about 200°C for 20 minutes.

6) They go well with a salad, so take your veggies and make it while the balls are baking. I added the leftover cheese into the salad as well.

7) Eat them hot or cold – both ways are delicious.

Julie Kagawa: The Immortal Rules, The Eternity Cure, The Forever Song

Let's not talk about the covers

I was more than intrigued when I found out about the Blood of Eden series. Why? Well, not that it contains my two favourite topics (vampires and postapocalyptical world) or anything... 

So again, the expectations were high. But not too high; I knew the stuff reeked of teenage fiction which obviously sells the most these days so I knew there would be distractions in the guise of people falling in love for the first time and that there would be no depth where you usually need it.
With this I embarked on a journey which was quite fast. It's funny how the books seem thick and then you open them and the font is just so big. (*mental note for myself: find out if all teenagers are optically challenged*). So it took me just a couple of working days to read it (that's a shocker, I never finish anything on my workdays because of the lack of time, let alone finish a whole trilogy).
And the results? It was surprisingly good. Sure, the scientific detailist in me was eager to get more info on the illness and everything around it and never got it. But the books were fast paced, full of action and contained some character development and interesting ideas. 

GENRE: post-apocalyptic teenage romance

FANGS OUT: set in a cool universe

FANGS RETRACTING: not complex enough

TOTAL SCORE:

White and Dark Chocolate Mousse

Honestly, there is chocolate in it, so you don't have to worry about it not being  tasty, righ? ;-)= Compared to my other recipes where I usually put everything in one bowl this one is a bit more complicated but trust me, it's worth the dirty dishes. With the amount of mousse I'd made I filled six big wine glasses to their brims and it was way too much to eat in one sitting so I recommend breaking that at least into ten servings. Or if you are hungry a lot, just go with whatever suits you the best.

Dark chocolate mousse:

• 150g chocolate (I used 70%)
• 400ml heavy cream
• 3 egg whites
• pinch of salt

1) Melt the chocolate (put it in a bowl which you will put onto a pan with boiling water in it. Once it's melted, put it aside and let's move to the point nr. 2.

2) Take the cold heavy cream and try to "beat" (agitate) it so that it becomes basically fluffy. Your hand and a whisk create the best results because you have control over it but it takes forever if you don't go to the gym to strenghten your arms ;-)=. You can use a machine to do it for you but really watch out because you can overdo it and the fluff will start falling apart if you don't pay attention. Once this is done, put it aside (into the fridge or somewhere cold).

3) Now you can take a machine because you need to create stiff peaks from the whites with a pinch of salt in them.

4) All you need is next is putting the three parts together so take the whites and try to slooooowly and tenderly mix them with the chocolate. Then take that and again slowly with a light hand mix it with the cream. Refridgerate till you need it.

 
White chocolate mousse:

• 200g white chocolate (break it into smaller pieces if you buy whole bars)
• 300ml heavy cream
• 3 egg yolks
• 1 tablespoon of brown sugar 

1) In a small bowl whisk the yolks with sugar till it doubles in size and is a bit paler. Set aside.

2) Take a half of the heavy cream and put it on a cooker. Once it simmers, remove it from the cooker and pour it over the yolks with sugar and stir it a bit. Now take the whole thing, pour it into the pan again and put it back on the cooker. Try to use lower temperature and stir for about two minutes or so. Basically you want it hot but not boiling.

3) Then you pour this over your white chocolate chunks. It should be enough to melt it. So again, stir till it's smooth and set aside so that it can cool down.

4) Put the rest of your heavy cream into a bowl and whisk. Halfway to the stiffpeaks add the sugar and continue.

5) Now the tricky part. You need the chocolate in the cream, right? Make sure the chocolate is cool because warm would kill the heavy cream structure. So once the temperature is good, slowly mix the two parts together.

And you are done! Refridgerate till you have the urge to serve it. Which is, ehm, like now.... Then combine the two as you like. Or just make one type of mousse if you are not into the other one... Oh, the decisions....

50 Shades of Red ... part 4

And the search continues.... For this time I have prepared some cheap products, so let's see how they work.

Ok, so let's start with NYX. The first thing I noticed was the pigmentation and the chemical smell which fortunately faded over time. But honestly, what you see is what you get here with the first swatch. The colors are amazing! One layer and you are ready to go... or maybe not. Unfortunately the pigmentation is connected to a very buttery texture which makes your lipstick disappear while you talk. I haven't got to drinking or eating yet! These face no chance unless you fix them with Lipcote (if you drink and eat) or at least set them with a translucent powder (if you only speak). The shades I chose were random since there is no way to tell which shade is which on the website (the pictures don't match the reality) but I'm happy with my choices. Chaos and Electra are nice classic shades, Hebe has pinkish shimmer to it which makes it really stunning and Black Cherry is for the days when you want to wear loud colors but black would be too much for the people around you to handle.

The next two are by Miss Sporty. One is from a limited edition (Hot Date) and one is from the regular line (High Red). Hot Date is on the pink side and is very smooth and smells like a watermelon. That's why I bought it. I knew the texture would mean it wouldn't last much but the scent.... Awww... :-)= And since it's not overly pigmented, it doesn't look that horrible if you eat a part of it. This is really only for the smell. The other one, however, is awesome. Hight Red lasts long, its pigmentation is very good for such a price. Sure, a lot of eating will destroy it but compared to its sibling it's definitely a winner. 

And the last duo for today is a cheap drugstore line Basic. I chose the two red shades they offer (12 - more on the orange side, 21 - rather a classic red). They smell lipsticky. I can't help it but this is exactly what I think of when someone says that a certain product smells a certain way. So these are typical lipsticks - the smell and all :-)=. They are quite hard so the application isn't as smooth as one would perhaps want but this dryness which make them a bit difficult to apply ensures they last quite long. They survived drinks and some food. Definitely a surprise.

 

Here you can find some more swatches but this time my camera went bonkers and the shades aren't accurate enough. But very close, so...

Oreos Hidden in Cupcakes

I was fooling around in the kitchen desperately wanting to make my plain cupcakes a bit better. So I started putting stuff in them. The first experiment to be conducted contained Oreo cookies and proved to be a success :-)=

You'll need (for about 16 cupcakes):
The batter:

• 300g flour (I made these with whole grain rye)
• 150g butter
• 3 eggs
• 150g sugar (I used brown, that's why it is darker than normally)
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
•  200ml milk
• Oreo cookies

The topping:

• 40g vanilla pudding
• 250ml milk
• 100g sugar (again, if you want it whiter use white sugar not brown)
• 250g cheese (I used curd for these but mascarpone or any other you normally use will go)

1)  Mix everything for the batter in one bowl. Sure, you can mix the yolks with the sugar first and then make the egg whites form stiff peaks to make the whole thing fluffier - that's up to you.

2) Then prepare your cups or cupcake pan or whatever you use for baking cupcakes. Add one spoon of the batter, put an Oreo on in, and cover it with one more spoon of the batter.

3) Bake for about 20 minutes at 200°C.

4) Prepare your pudding (mix the pudding powder with a couple of tablespoong of milk while you pour the rest of the milk in a pot and get it to a boiling point, then you pour in the pudding, wait for it to get to the boiling point again and then turn the cooker off and keep the pot on it for about a minute). Don't forget to stir all the time, the milk burns easily.

5) Wait for the pudding to get cold.

6) Once the pudding is cold, you can add the rest of the ingredients in a bowl and mix them together.

7) All you need to do is just somehow get the topping on the top of your cupcakes. Good luck ;-)

Easy vampire make-up for Halloween

No need to buy some fancy supplies that cost more than necessary. You already have everything you need for this look in your make-up bag.

This year, I went for a “work-friendly” vampire costume because I had six English lessons in a row to give and a hall monitoring duty throughout the whole day so I knew I needed something bulletproof that wouldn’t require any touch-ups.

The only dilemma I was facing was the teeth. As a teacher who talks a lot (duh!) I needed something which would make me lisp as little as possible and that would hold for a long time. It’s been ages since I was a vampire for Halloween so I couldn’t remember which glue was the one that lasted the whole night at one Halloween party long time ago. So I bought all three glues available and had done my “teeth rehearsal” prior to going to school like that. So, it was not that two-part putty which I hoped would hold but it was that pink one-part glue which got me through the day.

And now, to the make-up part. Long time ago I accidentally bought a liquid foundation by Avon in Ivory which was too light for me but I kept it for occasions like this one. Once I had my foundation in place (no primer, I don’t usually need that) I wanted to set it with a matte white color. Naturally, my hate toward the eye shadow palette makers subsided a little when I recalled all those whites I had (I mean, seriously! Almost every palette has a white and a black in it! Aargh, what the heck am I supposed to do with them all?!). The only issue with this is that the palette is small and applying just that one color is a bitch. To be more specific, it took me 40 minutes of trying not to compromise my white with the surrounding browns while applying it with a teeny-tiny brush on all the visible parts of my skin.

After the hard part was over, I took a dark matte brown from the same palette (NYX’s Champagne and Caviar) and tried to contour my face – temples, nose, cheeks, chin, eyes, and widow’s peak. Then I took a red eye shadow by Essence in 44 It’s up to you and made my eyes a little bit red. The last thing was to put a lipstain on my lips (Essence in 02 Save your kisses for me ) just to get that “I’ve just eaten” look.

The teeth were easy to glue with that pink transparent putty and the look survived all my lessons without any touch-ups. I must say I didn’t eat the whole day because I knew the teeth would go and I only drank through a straw. But I talked a lot and it stayed put. So it was a win ;-)=

Chocolate chip cookies

There is a quick, easy and a bit healthier recipe for the traditional cookies. You will be able to make about 10 large cookies from this so double everything if you feel like you need more:

• 150g flour (I used whole grain rye)
• a pinch of salt
• 1/2 tablespoon of soda
• 4 tablespoons of brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons of chocolate chunks (70% cocoa is my favourite)
• 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
• 2 tablespoons of melted coconut oil
• 4 tablespoons of milk

Mix it all together and shape into the desired form. Don't put them too close to one another on your baking tray because the soda will make them grow a little bit. They should be ready in 8 minutes (200°C).

Dracula Untold (2014)

I don't watch telly or go to the cinema much these days. I somehow don't have time and when faced with the decision of reading or watching I always grab a book (like that's a surprise, right? ;-)= ). But this fall everywhere on the internet I could see these trailers telling me to go and watch the new Dracula.

So I managed to get  a free Saturday and dedicated my time to socializing. And by that I mean sitting with other people in one room and staring at a gigantic screen for ninety minutes and then go home while saying a total of ten words or so. ;-)= No, I'm kidding, but that's not what this post is about anyway.

To the review then... I mean, from the posters you would say the story would be pretty somber, right? The dude who plays Dracula looks terrifying with all those bats around - as if he were some dark angel. But I'd seen the trailers before going to the cinema so I knew the dude was actually as hot as hell and that meant only one thing- the filmmakers wanted the audience to fall in love with him and shift the context in which we talk about Dracula. 

Which is exactly what happened. Little did we know when we read the original book. Everything he did was for his country and family - I bet he was awarded Father of the Century back in the 1400s. Yup, he even asked to become a vampire (which is not a surprise now with all our good vampires lurking in the shadows waiting for their opportunity to save the day but there was nothing good in the old-school Dracula!). 

There were many things I didn't like (e.g. him not being able to save his wife in time while his crew bravely bleeds slowly so that they can get their revenge etc.) but there were also bright moments (such as Dracula's Renfield or his reincarnated wife as Mina). And I totally loved the end when Dracula's maker appears and says something ominous :-)= Now, that's a story I'd like to hear about.

DIRECTOR: Gary Shore

GENRE: action/drama/fantasy

FANGS OUT: a new twist on an old story seems fun

FANGS RETRACTING: people who like the original will not buy this whole hero thingy

TOTAL SCORE:

Kresley Cole: Lothaire

Lothaire, the mad vampire, lives in the universe of cool valkyries, horny demons, evil wendigos and basically all creatures from the folklore you can think of. I've already spoken of variety as the key in the never-ending series. Cole keeps the readers entertained by adding awesome characters from all the mythological species. Lothaire the vampire and Nïx the protovalkyryie are, in my opinion, two of the most complex characters who deserve a whole book dedicated to their story.

So, Lothaire got it just now. And I was so looking forward to reading his story. And again, the expectations... See, it always happens when I expect a lot from the character. I mean, c'mon! He has this Endgame of his on which he worked for millennia and he is nuts and yeah, even if he gets his female (yup, this is one of those "find-an-unlikely-pair" series) he deserves more time and things happen before he is "cured" of his madness. I know that primarily these books are about romance but here the story cries for the psychological depth. And unfortunately the story lacks it so bad.
Otherwise I like the series but now I know I will be dreading to read perhaps the last person who the series should end with - Nïx. So, please, gimme more of those shifters and other species but don't touch Nïx, because if Lothaire was done away with this easy I don't wish to read about her, for she deserves complexity.

GENRE: supernatural romance

FANGS OUT: variety means fun

FANGS RETRACTING: I wish the author heard of psychology

TOTAL SCORE:

Rubber Ducky Frenzy 6

I keep getting or buying the little suckers all year round and since the infamous time of the year is coming, I must keep my potentional Santa Clauses, Fathers Christmases (?is that even a correct word?), Baby Jesuses etc. posted. So I decided to keep updating this article as opposed to writing a new one every time I get some ducks. So, let's see how many pictures I can fit in before the WYSIWYG thingy tells me to stop ;-)=

Birds hanging from a branch

 Allright, I admit I can't go to any kind of market without buying something. It probably says how inconsiderate and materialistic person I am but I don't care. Even if it's just a little thing I need to buy something.

So, naturally, I couldn't resist the little birds at the annual ceramic market. I had no idea where to put them or what to do with them, all I knew was that I sure would find a way to make them work in my home and that I needed many. 

So I bought seven of them and on my merry way from the market I started forming a plan in my head.

I knew I would hang them (since there were holes in them) but didn't know what I would hang them from. But that was soon replaced by a memory of my forest walks and all those nice branches just lying on the ground. And that's how I knew the rough final look.

So, if you want to recreate this, here's what you're gonna need:

•  winged ceramic beasts
• ropes or some kind of thread thick enough to hold them and thin enough to go through the holes in them
• beads if you want to put more on the ropes
• a branch
• patience of an angel

The aforementioned patience goes first. The beasts are hollow, and therefore the rope is going to tangle inside of them and will never reach the other hole. And don't think you will be able to use a needle. The eye of the needle which is able to take the thickness of the thread is thicker than the hole in the bird so you are screwed and basically you fool around for eternity before you get the thread through. 

This is also when the beads come in. I wanted the birds to perch on something so I put a bead under each of them. A little branch would look cool as well, I'm sure. So you know the drill: get the rope through and put the beads on wherever you want them till you get to the point where you have all the birds hanging on a rope.

You should wind up with a bunch of ropes of different lengths------->

Next, you just take a branch or a piece of wood or metal or just whatever you want to hang it on and prepare it. I found mine in the woods so I cleaned it, treated it with sandpaper and sprayed it with clear paint.

All that was left was to get the ropes on the branch. I wanted to drill holes through the wood but unfortunately I couldn't find the right size of the screw so I was forced to choose the less prettier version of hanging the birds - the knotting technique ;-)=. I just wrapped the thread around and made a knot. 

Then I took a wire and tied it at the ends of the branch to make a loop to hang the whole piece from.

And that was it. I installed it later above the kitchen table (the lousy picture at the top of this article) and that was it.

Why It's Good to Get a University Diploma

You think it's obvious, right? You get a better job, you get a salary raise etc. But the ugly truth of today is that the jobs are scarce and if you take a look at the number of university graduates and the number of jobs offered in the field they just got their diplomas in, you get two totally different figures.

So, ahem, the sense of accomplishment, maybe? Sure, you have worked hard, right? Again, if you compare the hours actually spent studying with the hours spent focused on different activities (drinking new kinds of alcohol, working, sleeping, going to cinema, walking your dogs, etc. - just avoiding lectures in all ways imaginable) you realize that should you had been focused only at school you would have already gotten that damned piece of paper. Let’s face it, the recommended amount of five years for your Master’s Degree could have been shrunk to three if you weren’t fooling around. But that’s how the system works. The University counts on your misbehavior and lack of discipline and that’s why they give you those five years instead of less. So, even though you know you should have worked harder, it wasn’t entirely your fault.

Which leaves us with the gifts you get after you proudly show your diploma to your friends and relatives. I know, I know, giving is more thrilling than receiving but since you’ve been around long enough to appreciate gifts as well, you can indulge yourself in the stuff your loved ones prepared for you. They have known you for long after all and that’s why you know they can only give you the coolest things.

So you actually find yourself drowned in alcohol (good way to go liver! because in your new life doctors are much more expensive since you are no longer a student supported by the state) and surrounded by food because celebrating with everyone is a thing. And apart from going from a restaurant to a pub nonstop for a week or so, crazy people like your brother actually know you will always have an unhealthy relationship with food and will buy you half a frickin’ salmon! And since it's fresh you will find yourself eating the humongous fish every day. Like that can stop you from loving it, though. There is never enough of salmon, ok?

Then, your home will start to look like a funeral home since people will shower you with flowers. And since you love lilies the most, that funeral feeling will spring into a many a mind. But who cares! This is your celebration and you can love what you want despite the general misconception that only the dead can be surrounded by lilies.

You will also get to try new food. Oh, food again, I know. Because someone for sure noticed you talking about macarons and how cute they are and how you want to try them but can’t find them. And when you find them, they are too expensive and you are afraid to buy a whole bunch in case they are too bad. So you get a package now and oh boy! You fall in love with the chocolate and LAVENDER ones. I mean seriously, it tastes just like it smells. You will never look at the lavender in your garden the same way again :-)=

And as the last gift, you get a clue. A crazy cat necklace and a blurry close-up of some city. Sure, that is a no-brainer, actually. Who wouldn't recognize Barcelona's most famous pieces by Gaudí? And since you worked the puzzle out immediately, you get a financial contribution to your dream trip to Spain. So, now nothing holds you away from your artsy trip. I mean, yeah, gotta wait for the holidays but still...

So don’t tell me you wouldn’t feel better after this. People around you always know how to appreciate you and it would be rude not to let them ;-)=