John Polidori: The Vampyre

Alright, I successfully defended my diploma thesis yesterday (so long, university education, I’ll miss you) so I’m gonna start releasing reviews of the books I used in it. It’s not excerpts from my thesis because it wasn’t focused on that but hey, those books are still in my memory since I spent so many hours analyzing them, an therefore I can bring you my point of view.

Lord Ruthven is the first vampire to enter Anglo-American prose, and that’s why I’m going to talk rather fondly of it even though it has a ton of mistakes and unclear motifs in it.

This short story is a great example of incorporating the father figure theme into vampire fiction (doesn’t that make Herr Freud happy) and even though the vampire as we know it today is a weak creature who needs daggers to defend himself in the story, lets just appreciate the effort Polidori made to rewrite Byron’s story which had led nowhere and made it into even weirder story which led nowhere but which introduced a very convenient character to plague the book-reading part of humankind.

There is a beautiful motif of the power of the moon when it comes to the vampire rejuvenation so I’m going to look away from the stupid oath the main character must keep and just point in the direction of the Greek folktales mentioned in the story. Plus the ending, oh, the cunning demon escaping after achieving everything he wanted to maybe resurface in your own home! Oh, the chills down our spines! :-)=

And what legacy could possibly this piece bring? Well, why not use the vampire as a means of dealing with our anxieties and tabooish subjects we are afraid to address directly. Through the character of vampire the future writers could deal with such tasks quite elegantly while spooking the hell out of their readers.

So thank you, Mr Polidori, it was high time the English suppressed emotions could run free in the evil metaphor called vampire.

GENRE: romantism introduces new element into the gothic fiction

FANGS OUT: the first vampire to walk the prose in the English language (heck, it was about time!)
FANGS RETRACTING: the oath, oh the weak oath
TOTAL SCORE:

Haunted House Picture

I should not be allowed to a) earn money b) walk around in shops or browse shops online c) spend money on unnecessary stuff d) invite anyone to my home. Why? Lol, I've bought a sweather with WHY? on it and it sums up my life so perfectly. Anyway, this is not about my clothes, this is about the stuff I hang on my walls. 

Because just the other day someone saw a picture by my bed and talked about family values and all that jazz because he thought the picture was of my relatives. And I was just sitting there nodding and thinking about something else entirely since my brain was turned off. I do that often when I see the spark in the eyes of a keen speaker. And while I am not so keen to interrupt and point out all the mistakes and misconceptions of the speaker I just smile and nod like an idiot and just let my brain rest for a change. So this time I missed everything about families and young people not giving a shit about their roots. And then, as the speaker was walking away satisfied by his own speech he cast his last glance at my "family" picture. Except it looked different this time. Yes, roots indeed. And the shock in his eyes. Invaluable.

Count Dracula: The Original Vampire Diaries

All right, there is a book which is supposedly written by Count Dracula himself. In this book he writes about his daily chores, includes pictures and posters and basically lets us peek into his mind. Have I mentioned it’s written in an accent? Yup, your eyeballs aren’t playing tricks on you. There are certain words you surely don’t encounter in English and things such as “window” are more likely to be written (and said aloud) as “vindow”.

The Count leads an interesting life and has a quite masochistic crush on Buffy. He designs his own capes, organizes anonymous meetings, stuggles as every child with his mother etc.

To sum this up, you will read this book in one sitting. It includes tons of pictures so there aren’t that many words to read. It’s hilarious, though. I loved it.

GENRE: allegedly real diary

FANGS OUT: gives you the infamously sexy laughter lines

FANGS RETRACTING: don’t know why the Count skips into German – shouldn’t he use Romanian?

TOTAL SCORE: 

Cinnamon biscuits

Just the other day I bought this cookie stamp because I couldn't resist. It is so cute! Naturally, I immediately started running around our kitchen in an attempt to find the perfect biscuit recipe. When I was a kid there was this Lord of the Rings frenzy as the movies were released and my friend once brought a recipe for lembas. It was basically a cinnamon biscuit so I knew it would fit my purpose. I found it but it contained coffee and some other stuff so I took something out and added something in and it worked! I hadn't known it would work so I started with a small amount of it to test it. Therefore, the following ingredients are good for filling one baking tray at the most (with the thickness of the biscuits about 4mm and diameter around 5cm) - it depends on the size of your tray and yadda yadda yadda - I made about 30 biscuits from this one batch:

• 3 spoons of butter
• 1 egg
• 8 spoons of brown sugar
• 12 spoons of flour (You can go healthy and try whole grain or just plain ... just do not use that self-rising flour. Uprising is not a good idea here. We've seen in Shrek how evil these biscuity types can be. So no rising of the flour ;-)= )
• 1 spoon of cinnamon

Once this all was mixed together I put it in the fridge to rest for an hour (or overnight, it doesn't matter). By the way, you recognize that it is ready when it stops sticking to your fingers. That is the right time to put it in the fridge or just start baking. If it's still too sticky, add flour. If it doesn't hold together, add butter. 

Then the funky part begins. Some people make a small sphere out of the pastry and then stamp it. I, however, chose to cut out circles and then stamp them so that it would be more precise. And it would have been had I had the right size of the cookie cutter. Mine was a bit smaller than the stamp so it wasn't to my liking. While you are trying to figure out how to make the best design, preheat your owen for 175° Celsius and then bake for about 20 minutes (depending on the thickness).

What you can see in the picture is two types of stamps. There are the plain ones with just stamp on it and then there are the brown ones - I dipped the stamp into cocoa powder before using it so that the letters would be more visible. You chose which one is better. Just have fun with it ;-)=

And here is the healthy whole-grain version with honey instead of sugar. I also smeared an egg on the top of them after I took them out of the oven to make them glossy. The stamping was done with more cinnamon so that everything looks kinda like worn leather medals. Haha! My favourite version so far...

50 Shades of Red ... part 3

I realised I haven't done this for a while which is a shame because the red lipsticks keep adding up in my make up box and I really need to sort them out in order to find my perfect red. Or a couple of reds, because let's face it - one is simply not enough. There is the one for autumn, the one for winter, the one for that sweather I wear, etc... I think  you get the picture. So, let the hunt continue!

This time I chose to take a look at Oriflame and Essence. I think some of the Oriflame lipsticks are discontinued so you may not be able to find them anymore. That is my personal hell. Falling in love with a product which was just a limited edition and is never coming back...

So, let's take a look at the infamous sheet of paper I made out with to see what today's issue of our series brings:

More swatches:

Starting with Essence. I think the lipsticks are good for you if you are afraid of colors. They are very balm-like and therefore the color pay-off is very limited. I think of them as tinted lip balms rather than lipsticks. In that case, they are good. You eat them up just like you eat any lip balm and have to reapply them often. But for the price and feeling that your lips are nourished, why not... You may also be surprised by the glitter pieces in them. Not all of them, though (Almost Famous is glitter-free, while Rockin' Red and More to Love have it). But that is the basic line. Essence introduced a new line quite a while ago and those lipsticks are killers. They are only a bit more expensive than the original line (which is still very affordable) yet don't have the same structure. They are less balmy, the color is truer to what you see and it stays surprisingly long. Sure, the first meal will kill it but you won't have to reapply after and hour of plain speaking like you would have with the balmy ones. So thumbs up for the new line (Dare to Wear in the following picture).

Oriflame also offers different types of lipsticks varying in price and quality. However, (usually) the higher the price the more likely it is to last. The creamy cheaper ones don't stay and have less pigmentation than the more expensive ones. I always buy them in sale so I am not sure how much they normally cost  but I do know that I never even think about buying one for the full price, so... I think it would make me angry if I bought Cherry Cashmere for the full price because it doesn't last much. But the color is beautiful. It's a dark red with gold shimmer and looks natural (if that can be said about a red) on the lips. But the creamy structure just sucks. Carmine and Red Devotion, on the other hand, are long-lasting and the colors are "in-your-face" reds. Cosmo and Radiant are just "meh" (I've been using this word too much lately, sorry).

I have my favourites in here but with this never-to-be-seen-again policy the manufastures so often bring I must give them up once I use them up because those beauties aren't gonna be here. I weep for humanity. Really. So, let's just see one more picture and call it quits. 

Charlaine Harris: Dead Ever After

I really have no idea how to write this. My goodbye review. I mean I hate when some series go on and on forever never reaching “finale grande”, however, I also hate them ending because I wouldn’t have bought all the books in the series if I found them a complete waste of time, right? And this bitter-sweet feeling is all I have left for Sookie Stackhouse who has entertained me since my puberty.

It’s been almost ten years since I bought my first copy! I want the end as well as the next new thrilling story! I was totally puzzled this summer when I went to buy my new story about Sookie and found out this one was the last one. Somewhere along the way of writing my diploma thesis (on vampires, of course) I had to stop reading most of the books I usually read and I had to focus on the couple of books my diploma thesis was about (reviews coming, don’t worry). And after finishing my thesis I felt like not reading about vampires for some time. And then I thought the best way how to get out of my vampire fiction reading slump would be starting with something I always like. Something I knew would be a sure thing. And instead I got despair and confusion. I was given THE END. It took all my control not to look at the cover to stay spoiler free. I chose my team long ago and I really didn’t want to know. But at the same time I wanted to take a look at the last chapter first (someone once wrote about doing it every time he/she felt like the book was becoming too emotional to handle and I sneered at the confession but now I must admit this idea crossed my mind ... and fortunately flew away before I grasped it).

I mean, come on! All the books were written in the first person narrative and now new storytelling techniques are introduced? Really, as far as the style goes this book is the best one. I hate when they save the best for the last.

Storywise, I’m not so sure. There’s been better in the series. But maybe it is only because my mind was shadowed by this whole end thingy plus as I’ve already said, I’ve picked my team and it didn’t win! I hate when religion beats true love. 

So, good bye Sookie, I may re-read the series though during long boring winter nights just for the heck of it. The series was interesting and just because the end sucks for me doesn’t mean it sucks on the whole and that it is illogical. It isn’t. I saw it coming but I just hoped it would wind up a different way.

GENRE: mystery

FANGS OUT: entertaining

FANGS RETRACTING: now just a memory, one gets nostalgic just thinking about it

TOTAL SCORE: